"Change is the only constant in life. One's ability to adapt to those changes will determine your success in life."
- Benjamin Franklin
If I have learnt one thing in life, its that you never know what's coming next but as Ronan Keating famously once sung, "Life is a Rollercoaster, you just gotta ride it". Every day, our life is a constantly changing landscape full of highs and lows and for the most part we are all hanging on for dear life!
You see inherently we all like to be in control. To try to compensate for this crazy ride, we make list, set rules and schedules, At every turn we desperately try to control the uncontrollable. But of course it doesn't work, you see the more we try to control things, the less control we actually have. And the less we succeed in our quest for control, the less control we have until we end up feeling angry, frustrated, depressed and defeated.
Trying to control everything is exhausting. It's like trying to push water up a hill. It is our Ego that requires the control and it is fear that drives this need. The idea of letting go of the need to be in control of every detail and trusting in the process of life feels alien to us. But the reality is whether we like it or not, the only thing we have control over is ourselves and when we can learn to accept this fact and open ourselves to the simple act of surrender, we stop resisting life.
Now obviously I am in no way advocating that we give up control altogether, but consider for a moment what it would feel like to step into "love" instead of "fear"? Coming from a place of love instead of fear can be powerfully transformative.
So how can we practice the art of surrender? Well firstly, we need to raise our awareness of what we are trying to control and why. Generally, it is because we are focusing too heavily on the outcome and the "fear" of not achieving it. Our attention and therefore our intention becomes focused on the "HOW". Instead of trying to "gain" control over everything, focus on what you can control. Direct your time and energy into the one thing that you do have control over, your response to the situation. It is vital to remember that whilst we may have no control about the final outcome, we do have a choice about how we allow it to effect us.
"One of the happiest moments in your life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can't change"
- Anonymous
For most of us, its the fear of the unknown that plays the biggest part in our desire to control. Not knowing what is coming next and how it is going to turn out unsettles us and very quickly we can find ourselves obsessing over what the future holds. Of course the big problem here is that whilst we are busy worrying about what is coming next, we are missing what is happening now. Instead of ruminating about the future, surrender to the present moment. Allow yourself to just be and to enjoy all that is in your life right now. Start to appreciate the moment in front of you, fully. Stop trying to change it, trying to control it, trying to have it conform to our idea of how things should be.
Surrender is all of this and more. It’s openness, full presence, awareness of what’s happening, curiosity and immense appreciation. And it takes so much less energy than control.
Love and light
Sharon
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