There are so many reasons why people become interested in a more holistic approach to life. One of the questions, I get asked most frequently is what led me to begin my journey and so in today's blog, I am going to share my story.
So firstly let me introduce myself. My name is Sharon and I am a mum, wife, owner of Soul Purpose and a CFS warrior! My battle began almost 10 years ago when following contracting the H1N1 virus in 2009, I was diagnosed with CFS. At that time, I could never have guessed how significantly my life would change from those three little letters or the journey that it would take me on. I was very poorly with the virus initially but after about 2 weeks, things settled down and I returned to my normal busy life. I did notice that I felt a little more tired than normal and suffered from more frequent headaches but simply put it down to taking a little longer to shake the thing off. Then in October 2009, I found out I was pregnant with my gorgeous little boy.
As an older mum ( I was 39 at the time), I was warned early on that perhaps pregnancy would prove a little more challenging but nothing could prepare me for my experience. I didn't suffer from the usual morning sickness or general aches and pains, instead by the time I was 3 months pregnant I had to begin to work from home. My blood pressure was all over the place, I was always exhausted and to be honest felt like death warmed up. My GP told me this was to be expected because of my age and eventually I began my Maternity leave early. My son was born in August 2010 and I was hopeful that I would return to my old self.
Just like every new mum, the first few weeks were difficult. A lack of sleep, the constant feeding and of course all the worries that you are not getting it right. My little boy suffered from chronic reflux, so was often in a lot of pain and although slept perfectly at night, didn't sleep at all during the day. I began to feel tired all of the time and really started to struggle. I spoke with my GP and this time was told I was suffering from Post Natal Depression. I am almost certain she was right, but some of the symptoms I was experiencing didn't seem to add up. I tried the Talking Therapies they suggested but this didn't seem to help at all. The focus seemed to be on discussing why I felt unhappy and why I might not feel I was bonding with my baby, but that just wasn't the case...I was just exhausted and in pain!
I continued to raise my concerns to my GP but was constantly met with that same sympathetic nod and the understanding words but offered no real solution. Eventually, one day I had simply had enough. By now I was finding it hard to keep my eyes open during the day, let alone function properly. I had constant pounding headaches and every muscle and bone in my body ached. I made an appointment with my GP and literally walked into the office and collapsed in the chair, uncontrollably sobbing. Thankfully this time she listened, we talked for some time and went through all of the issues I was experiencing. I explained how some days I felt on top of the world, full of energy and ready to go and other days it took me all my time just to get showered. I explained in detail about the blinding headaches and the weird and inexplicable pains in my muscles and joints, often waking feeling like I had done ten rounds with Mike Tyson. The restless legs, the upset tummy, the list went on and on. There is no specific test for CFS but there are specific guidelines to help GP's diagnose the condition and I ticked pretty much every box! So there it was, my mysterious enemy had a name......CFS or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
Now you could be mistaken for thinking at this point that having received a diagnosis, my story would have come to an end. But unbeknown to me, my battle had only just begin. You see, not only is it incredibly difficult to get an initial diagnosis for this condition but more over once you do, you are faced with the reality that there are no actual effective treatments available. Pain killers, Talking therapies and graded exercise are the only things offered. Despite the fact that CFS has been a recognised condition since the early 1980's, doctors still know very little about it and there is still a huge amount of misinformation and misunderstanding. My own GP whilst sympathetic, basically advised me that I would simply have to learn to live with it. As a mum of a young very active child and a self employed business owner, this was potentially going to be problematic to say the least, after all you can hardly explain to a one year old, that mummy is too tired to even get out of bed!
With the realisation that my condition would in all probability never be cured (less than 2% of people diagnosed make a full recovery) and in fact would most likely deteriorate over time and that there was little or no help available to me, I decided that I would simply have to take matters into my own hands. I begin to read everything I could on the subject and the more I read, the more I became aware of the links between our physical and our emotional health. As CFS appears to simply zap your energy, I wanted to understand how I could learn to not only listen to and understand the important cues my body gave me but find ways to work effectively with my energy to improve both my physical and emotional well being.
Over the next few years, I studied the Chakra system, energy healing including working with sound, crystals, colour and essential oils. I also started to work on myself doing a host of workshops and home study courses on everything from self love, inner child work and more. The more I learnt, the more I was able to more effectively manage my condition on a day to day basis and the better I felt in myself. It would be wrong at this point to say that I am cured, far from it. The difference now is that when I experience a CFS crash, it is almost always because I haven't listened to my body or taken care of myself. This was demonstrated to me in glorious technicolour in 2019, when on a beautiful sunny day in August, I found myself in the back of an ambulance being blue lighted through Oxford to the J.R. I then experienced some of the most scary hours, being told that at the grand old age of 48, I was going to have a pace maker fitted! Thankfully this turned out not to be the case but it was certainly the wake up call I needed. I had been pushing myself too hard, trying to be a "superwomen", taking care of my child as well as running a very successful Wedding and Events business. The signs had all been there but I had simply chosen not to listen to them.
That single incident was pivotal in my making some pretty life changing decisions. I realised that it was not simply enough to use holistic tools to manage my condition without making some significant changes to my life. I walked away from my business that had taken 5 years and a lot of blood, sweat and tears to grow and took a long hard look at my life and the things, people and situations that simply were not for my highest good. I simplified my life, stopped stressing about the things that simply weren't important and focused on the things that were. I recognised the importance of working consistently with my chakras and developing daily practices. I also now truly understood the importance of embracing and accepting the whole of me, even the bits I didn't like, including my CFS!
Roll forward almost 18 months later and I am happier and more connected than I have ever been. In October 2019, I launched Soul Purpose, creating a space where I can share my passion of the chakra system and all things self-love through both teaching and therapies to help others to become more empowered. I will always have CFS, but now feel that instead of it being a negative part of my life, it is a way in which I can truly connect with my body.
If you would like to learn more about CFS then please visit my website
Love and light
Sharon
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