" I have nothing to wear"....I think my poor husband must have heard this a million times over the years. I always wondered why he got this confused look on his face as he stared into my wardrobe, couldn't he understand that whilst there was an array of clothes hanging expectantly in my wardrobe, the fact of the matter was that I simply couldn't find anything I wanted to wear.
The truth was that over the years, my relationship with my wardrobe had become a little like a battlefield, although I didn't realise that until quite recently. Back in my 30's, I had a career, disposable income and no children. I knew what my style was and I felt confident enough to wear it and bugger the consequences. In my 40's I had my son, left my career behind and somewhere along the line lost my connection with my clothes. No longer was it about style and expression but instead practicality and cost, after all a baby isn't bothered what it pukes up on!!! As my priorities changed so did my view about clothing and looking back, I realise that clothes became a functional requirement (after all you can't do the school run naked!) rather than something that I used to express who I was.
It's important to say here that this disconnect from my wardrobe was not as a result of disliking my body or feeling that I wasn't worthy of wearing nice clothes, nor was it that I didn't care about the way I looked. In fact, I have over the years done a lot of work on my internal connection with my body, learning to love, respect, accept and listen to it (otherwise known as Intuitive Living) This is critically important work and forms the basis of everything I teach now. The truth is I hadn't even realised that this was an issue for me. Little did I know that when my gorgeous and incredibly talented friend Jess offered me a wardrobe session, my life was about to change!!!!
"Style is something each of us already has, all we need to do is find it." —Diane von Furstenberg
I have known Jess for almost two years now and have been an avid follower of her beautiful business "Life-styling" . Jess's mantra is to " support you to declutter and organise your home and wardrobe to create sustainable change. Allowing you to have an authentic life that suits and celebrates you" and as well as her incredible wardrobe service, she is also an amazingly talented designer, giving new life to vintage clothes with stunning results. She is a beautiful soul with a big heart and if I was going to allow anyone to rummage around in my wardrobe, it was going to be her.
I had no real clue what a wardrobe session was going to involve. My only reference point was a particularly awful session many years ago from a lady, who although lovely, wasn't interested in me, my lifestyle or how I felt in my clothes. She arrived with a great big bag of colour swatches and proceeded to supply me with a list of rules about colour and style that I could and couldn't wear, informed me that virtually my entire wardrobe was wrong and left me feeling less enthused by my clothes than I had before and wondering where I was going to find the money to replace my entire wardrobe! I was totally confident that my experience with Jess was going to be NOTHING like this and I was not disappointed.
The whole thing began with a questionnaire. Jess pitches it as a quick introduction to what you are looking for from the session, but it was so much more. Completing the carefully constructed questions was a total light bulb moment for me. When I had to really stop and think about my clothes and my relationship with them it brought home to me just how bad I had let things get. I realised that I had lost all the joy from choosing and wearing my clothes. After the questionnaire, the next step was a telephone chat with Jess. She took the time to let me explore how I felt about my clothes and what came up was mind-blowing. By the end of the call, I couldn't wait for the actual session and was excited to get going.
Those initial discussions, helped me to clearly see where the problems lay. I would open my wardrobe each morning and stare blankly at the array of clothes. I would pull a few items out but would draw a complete blank as to how to wear them. I'd spend a few minutes becoming more frustrated at my apparent lack of outfits and then feeling slightly let down by my wardrobe, grab the old faithfuls and stick them on, safe in the knowledge that although they certainly wouldn't set the world on fire, I looked ok. Net result, I had a few safe and comfortable go to outfits and a whole load of clothes which now kept my wardrobe full but never saw the light of day. I am not a big shopper and generally prefer Charity shops and so from time to time I would decide to purchase a few items to try to encourage myself to wear some of the seemingly redundant items I already owned. They too would go into the wardrobe and the next morning, the same cycle would begin again. From those initial chats with Jess, I realised was that I had lost the "joy" of clothes and instead of seeing them as an important expression of me, I had relegated them to a functional necessity.
On the day of our session, Jess arrived armed with a few carefully chosen vintage pieces and a big smile. If I had had any trepidation about this experience, Jess eradicated it within a few moments. It is impossible not to be caught up in her infectious enthusiasm for clothes and people! We headed upstairs and slightly apologetically, I opened my wardrobe doors. I was convinced that I would be that client that Jess just couldn't help (despite her brilliance!), I thought that in the clothes department, I was a bit of a lost cause. As Jess began sorting through my wardrobe, I was amazed to hear her saying things like "oooh this is beautiful", "the colours are so perfect" and even " you have all the elements of a capsule wardrobe"......WHAT!!! could she really be talking about my wardrobe???
Over the next 30 minutes, I began to see my clothes in an entirely different light. As Jess took each piece out, she took the time to ask a little about it, to understand how I would like to wear it and what I had envisioned when I had bought it. She began to show me how I could put different outfits together with each piece and even how the addition of a belt or pair of shoes could change the look completely.
Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak. —Rachel Zoe
As the clothes began to pile up on my bed, I suddenly realised I was experiencing something that I hadn't felt for a long time......I was excited by my clothes!!!!!! After around an hour, I had a multitude of different looks for both work and casual and best of all, it was everything I already had in my wardrobe. I had even found myself making suggestions for how I could wear something and Jess was so enthusiastic and supportive, I felt confident that I could and would be able to do this going forward. Unlike my previous experience of wardrobe styling, Jess didn't hit me with lots of rules, she didn't tell me what to wear based on my body shape, hair and eye colour or what was in fashion. She focused on what made me feel good, how I wanted to express who I was and how my clothes would suit my lifestyle. She didn't make me feel inadequate or force her opinions, instead she encouraged, supported and guided me and the whole session was so relaxed and easy.
"Style is the only thing you can’t buy. It’s not in a shopping bag, a label, or a price tag. It’s something reflected from our soul to the outside world—an emotion.”—Alber Elbaz"
You might be reading this and wondering what it has to do with what I teach? My focus is and has always been on supporting people to reconnect with their bodies. To understand the importance of the relationship they have with themselves, to love and accept themselves and to feel empowered to express their true authentic selves. My focus is on the inside and I absolutely believe that you have to start there. But and this is a big but, once you have mastered that then reflecting the inner you on the outside is just as important. If we are to truly connect with the incredible vessel that is our body, then the clothes that we choose to wear are just as important in that process. It has nothing to do with following trends, pleasing other people or creating an armour to protect you. Clothes are a way that we can express ourselves and celebrate the unique amazing individuals we are, loudly, proudly and unashamedly.
My session with Jess, helped me to reconnect with the joy of my clothes, to feel excited about getting dressed in the morning and to feel confident that I can and do know what works for me. 7 days on and I can honestly say that it is a joy to open my wardrobe in the morning. I have been reunited with clothes that I bought because I loved them and more importantly make me feel great when I wear them. For me this was the final piece in the puzzle of a journey that I have been on for a long time. I let go of the fear of not having a limitless budget or a knowledge of the latest trends and instead
felt into what made me feel good and what worked for my life.
For me, this quote sums it up. Style is not about fashion or trends, style is how you communicate who you really are. Your personal style is your choice and you have the right to do it in whatever way brings you joy!
"Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak". —Rachel Zoe
If you are interested in booking a Wardrobe session with Jess, then you can find out more and get in touch with her at https://life-styling.co.uk/ or find her on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/jessicaanddeanne/
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